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 Post subject: PtE Piece-O-Crap Theatre
Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:51 pm 
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Pushing the Envelope Presents ...

~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~


Welcome to Piece-O-Crap Theatre. This thread is dedicated to the utterly worst piece of shitetm movies and shows that Public Domain has to offer. Now, I'm not just talking about poorly crafted movies, I'm talking bottom barrel pond scum droppings that people turned out with the belief that it was actually good. And trust me, there are more out there than you can shake a 12 pack of 2-ply at. For our inaugural post, I found that pd cult classic that is unanimously agreed upon to be the worst piece of cinematic mastication ever to grace the silver screen. I am, of course, talking about the 1936 schlock, Reefer Madness aka Tell Your Children.


Summary: Alright boys and girls, this has to be one of the best examples of the worst and most loathsome propaganda the American Movie Going Public (AMGP) has ever had forced upon it. Bear in mind, this is not an avocation for the use or even legalization of marijuana, but a commentary on how utterly false and mis-representatious this 1936 film is regarding marijuana - or as they often misspell it - marihuana. In the opening credits that proclaim this to be a new scourge running rampant on the streets. Truth be told, it was hardly new and at the time widely used under its more common name - hemp or cannabis. But not once during this entire movie do they bring this startling information to light. The claim its a deadly narcotic, that is worse than Heroin, morphine, or cocaine :wtf: It is public enemy # 1 :? According to this film it causes hallucinations, violent fits of anger, insane depravity, and a propoundery of other things that makes LSD & Heroin look like cherry syrup and 7-up cocktail. Keep in mind, this is 1936 when the worst skank stress you hear about today was probably better than anything they were getting. Which brings to mind another point of the plot - the dealers sell pre-rolled reefers. They have their own reefer cigarette sweat-shop where they grind seed/stem/bud into pre-rolled reefers, that apparently, you could by by the pack or carton.

The story is slow, poorly constructed, delivered so melodramatically heavy-handed, and is written by someone who never smoked a reefer in this life - although with the pace and story, you'll be bewildered that he wasn't stoned when he wrote it. The acting - if that's what we can call it, is worse than a porn star who believes they are thespians. I guarantee you, almost anyone involved in this film, probably left this off their bio credits. But, with all these faults and fallacies, this movie had been quoted from for years as an accurate depiction of that devil weed marijuana marihuana. There are many scenes that should make most of you laugh out loud, even without a reefer cigarette creating the uncontrollable sensation. And to think, there are about another 20 movies just like this one that tell the same ultra-shocking and highly imaginative, if not realist, tales.

From 1936, a certified crap-fest in any year, I give you, Reefer Madness!


~Piece-O-Crap Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:42 pm 
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Well I forced myself to sit through about 5 minutes of this shite(tm), and then promptly went to another thread.

I appreciate your efforts at posting it here DrM, but it looks so damn pathetic, I didn't want to go any further than the 5 minute mark. :yack:


I wish I hadn't watched that. Image

Now the Vincent Price flick, that looks to be another story. :clap:



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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:47 pm 
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Hence the thread Title ~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:41 pm 
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The quality of reefer back then was worse than todays scank ass stress. How f@%king lame is that.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:17 pm 
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"Its first effect is violent, uncontrollable laughter..."

Oh trust me.... Marijuana isn't the only thing that does that. This movie does.

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 Post subject: PtE-POCT#2
Unread postPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:21 pm 
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~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~


OK, my peeps, hard choice this week - but since it is the Holiday Season, I found perhaps he most poorly executed Christmas Movie around. Nope, not the "year Without A Christmas," although that was pretty sad. I am referring too: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Basic Plot: Martian Children have been monitoring Earths Television and are sad that they don't have a Santa Claus. So, like any bad space movie, they send out a party to kidnap Santa and bring him to Mars. Being confused by all the Salvation Army Santa's, they have to kidnap (2) Earth Kids to help them identify the real Santa. Need I continue.

If you have never seen this crapfest, be prepared for Christmas at its wacky worst. The opening theme song is typical teenie-bopper 1960's schlock if there ever was one. Its so sickly sweet I had to take (2) Glucophange yet still experienced a sugar coma from it.

The Martians wear really bad outfits - even for the 1960's - they are bad. Even though they are highly advanced, their society is still stuck in the days of ancient Greece, down to their own Martian Oracle/Elder. Sappy dialog and bad acting makes you really appreciate Star Trek-TOS so much more on a theatrical level.

Speaking of the 1960s, most of you will note some familiar faces. Josip Elic from Twilight Zone's: One More Pall Bearer and The Obsolete Man. Pia Zadora - well she was famous for about 15 minutes in the 1980's. Ralph the Doorman - Ned Wertimer, from The Jeffersons, and others.

Anyway, you've been teased enough with this titillating intro, so enough with the hype. Our Piece-O-Crap Theatre for the week: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.


~Piece-O-Crap Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:38 pm 
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:yack: This one is just so painful to watch, it's not funny....or is it???? :cry:

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Unread postPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 2:29 pm 
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The other night flipping through channels, I noticed the remake of Reefer Madness was on one of the Showtime channels -- I never even knew that crapfest was made again. I noticed Kristin Bell (Veronica Mars, Heroes), so I kept it on for a couple minutes -- yeah, I wanted those minutes back. It looked absolutely awful -- I guess the opportunity to remake something bad was just not successful.

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Unread postPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:11 pm 
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I know that version too, Lazy. I guess nobody informed them that when you remake a bad film, you are supposed to make it better than the piece-o-crap original.

Examples of Good remakes of Bad P-O-C films:

First Blood
The Thing
The Bourne Identity

(Yep - all based on bad films done before them. The original First Blood and Bourne were horrid. Unknowns in 1st Blood, so kinda expected it to be bad, and Richard Chamberlain as the 198? original Jason Bourne. )


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 Post subject: PtE-POCT#3
Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:38 am 
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~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~


OK, I thought I had posted this, but thanks to Mister Trent, I did a follow-up and realized I had missed this one. How could I have failed to post this - PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

Written and directed by the legendary: Edward D. Wood Jr. This is probably his best known film besides "Bride of the Monster." A lot of grief has been given to this film - Lugosi died prior to its actual filming and the recycled shot of him from an 8mm home camera is repeatedly used. His stunt double looked nothing like Bela. The acting is questionable, the stars are just as questionable, the sets are a mess from spaceships with wires to the cardboard headstones. But the thing going for this movie - the plot isn't that bad. Ed Wood may not have been the greatest movie maker going in the 1950's, but he did have vision and drive. Unfortunately, he had little budget or talent.

Our story takes place in 1959 Hollywood, where aliens have come to begin their 9th plan to stop us pesky humans from developing Solanite. Having failed on their other 8 attempts, Plan 9 initiates the resurrection of the dead. Space Aliens and Zombies, what more could a growing 1950's paranoid society want from a budget sci-fi/horror. Cast in starring roles is Tor Johnson, Swedish Wrestler as the LA Detective/Inspector. Vampira as the Doctor (Lugosi) dead wife who rose from the grave. Paul Marco as the cop who uses his pistol to scratch that itch on his head. The Amazing Criswell as our narrator who speaks in both future and present tense in the same sentence. And least we forget Tom Mason as Bela's stunt double with cape covering his face. Also keep an eye out for Ed Wood himself in the cameo role as the newspaper holding extra.

So without further ado, From 1959 and Edward Wood, Jr. Our Piece-O-Crap Theatre for the week: Plan 9 from Outer Space


~Piece-O-Crap Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:22 am 
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Conrad Brooks !!!! I can't stand Plan 9, it really does suck lol..... but everybody loves the film "ED WOOD"


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 Post subject: Re:
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:22 pm 
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DrMoreau wrote:
I know that version too, Lazy. I guess nobody informed them that when you remake a bad film, you are supposed to make it better than the piece-o-crap original.

Examples of Good remakes of Bad P-O-C films:

First Blood
The Thing
The Bourne Identity

(Yep - all based on bad films done before them. The original First Blood and Bourne were horrid. Unknowns in 1st Blood, so kinda expected it to be bad, and Richard Chamberlain as the 198? original Jason Bourne. )


First Blood, as in the Stallone film, or is there another film by this name?


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Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 10:58 pm 
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Different name but still the unauthorized version of the Morrell novel. Late 79 or early 80 grindhouse ultra cheap production.


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:11 pm 
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So it's really bad then? Anyway, speaking of Reefer Madness, I was just watching some of Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy. I will post comments when I'm done with the DVD set, but something they mentioned on it is that New Line Cinema is known as The House That Freddy Built, since all the sequels made so much money and helped build New Line into a huge movie studio, whereas it originally started out just as a distribution company. They also mention that then head of New Line Bob Shaye is also a copyright lawyer and found out that the copyright on Reefer Madness had expired so New Line gained the rights to it. I guess you have to buy it or file some kind of paperwork, how does that work? Anyway, they ended up showing it in places like military bases I think and a couple of other places to stay afloat in their early days.


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:22 pm 
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The story I heard was that Shaye acquired a print from the Library of Congress for just under $300.00. Since it was in public domain, he had to pay for the copy, but made several copies and rented/showed it at Colleges and Midnight Movie Houses helping to establish it's cult status.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:30 am 
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It's been four years...perhaps Reefer Madness has lost its Piece-O-Crap status? :D
Plan 9 however...is and will forever be a piece of crap. This thread needs a new film DrM 8)


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:03 pm 
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DrMoreau wrote:
The story I heard was that Shaye acquired a print from the Library of Congress for just under $300.00. Since it was in public domain, he had to pay for the copy, but made several copies and rented/showed it at Colleges and Midnight Movie Houses helping to establish it's cult status.


Yeah, I think that's it. Colleges, midnight movie houses and military bases.

Speaking of Plan 9, they're doing a nice homage/remake that I'm hearing good things about, lovingly low budget, like the original, probably more realistic looking. James Rolfe mentioned it on his site Cinemassacre, since he plays one of the cops in it. I'll try and find the video from the set and any articles he has and post links here.


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 Post subject: Re: PtE-POCT #4
Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:13 am 
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Pushing the Envelope Presents ...
~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~


It's that time again, boys and girls, where we once again get to pollute our tender minds with the most absolute god-awful piece of crap theatre ever committed to celluloid. This installment, like its loving predecessors, has most deservedly earned its place in the hall of shame. Not because it lacks star power, it has both John Carradine and Lon Chaney, Jr. in the starring roles - even though they are never in the same scene. Not because it's filled with questionable black magic and a strange exotic dancing woman - strange and questionable being the key here. Not because the script conjures elements of horror which are never seen - literally, you never see a damn werewolf although it is often heard howling and is discussed in polite company very nonchalantly. Not because this had 3 directors try to piece it together into some sort of semblance - well, on second thought, that is part of it's problem too. Not because this was released under more names than a garage band trying to break into show biz. No, not a single one of the above mention byproduct constitutes this as a Piece of Crap - they all do. With so many things so bad and getting worse, this film is utterly awful. This movie is so bad, without the help of MST3K, I doubt anyone except a handful of people would have ever professed to have heard of, let alone viewed, this dreck.

Basic Plot: The story revolves around the Desard family and how each member throughout the centuries are condemned to hell due to their ancestral pact with Satan for power. Andre {Carradine} is the good Black Warlock at odds with his evil brother Belial {Chaney} the bad Black Wizard over inheritance money and the ancestral home. Satanic rituals, lots of long diatribe about horns, hoofs, werewolves, and Satan. A few bizarre dance scenes and some black magic oaths and curses. Nuff Said.

So without further ado, From 1965 and Harold Daniels, Jerry Warren and Reginald Le Borg, our Piece-O-Crap Theatre for the week: Blood of the Man Devil aka House of Black Death ...



~Piece-O-Crap Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:16 am 
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Now THIS is crap. This chick doing the dance near the beginning was pretty hot.
Lets keep Eyes Wide Shut out of this thread. :evil:


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:36 pm 
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Cool avatar SVB? What's it from, a movie, some kind of wrestling promo?


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:24 pm 
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Okay I just finished watching Never Sleep Again. I'll post a review later in that Elm Street remake thread. Anyway, yeah, Wes Craven says on it that they showed Reefer Madness around army bases, prisons and colleges. Cool stuff, looks like the stuff Cinemassacre showed during last year's Monster Madness during their Camp Cult month.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:58 pm 
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~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~


Welcome back to the lack-luster side of Hollywood. In this installment we have a returning veteran of PtE-PoCT - Ed Wood, Jr. As if Plan 9 from Outer Space wasn't Bad enough, we step back a little earlier into his career and bring forth another example of why Edward holds the dubious honor of worst filmmaker of his generation. No, not Glen or Glenda, but equally disappointing. I bring forth 1954's "Jail Bait"

Sure, the title sounds provocative - as I am sure it was supposed to be - but the story certainly isn't. A younger man falls in with an older hoodlum and it leads him down the spiraling hole of crime. While his sister tries to keep him out of trouble, the plot thickens and a murder is committed during a robbery. To escape the police, the hoodlum threatens the younger man's plastic surgeon father to alter his appearance. However, pops the doc notifies the police and plays some shenanigans of his own. Nuff Said.

Once again we have Lyle Talbot returning to another Ed Wood Production. This marks his 3rd of 4. Another familiar face is Dolores Fuller in her 2nd of 3 films with Wood.For our history buffs, this film marks the 1st of 2 appearances where Steve "Hercules" Reeves gets to speak and not be over-dubbed. That's right, you actually get to hear his real voice. Another movie veteran who, much like Talbot, never knew how to refuse a role, is Herbert Rawlinson as the Doc.

So without further ado, from 1954 and Edward Wood, Jr, our Piece-O-Crap Theatre for the week: Jail Bait



~Piece-O-Crap Feature Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:19 am 
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It had the obligatory gun shoot out, the car chase, the crappy dialogue, that shitty directorial style of Ed Wood.....man this was a true piece of crap


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 8:55 pm 
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You know who I consider way worse than Ed Wood? Uwe Boll. He usually does crappy movies based on video games and they somehow make money. I'd rather watch an Ed Wood movie than most of the popular crap that passes for entertainment these days. If you want some real pice of crap theater, how about something with Pauly Shore, or the Inspector Gadget movie or The Room, considered to be the worst independent film ever. The Room is so bad, it has a cult following. People go to screenings of it as a goof. It's so bad, The Nostalgia Critic, a video blogger who reviews bad movies, did a review of it and then it got taken down by the filmmaker Tommy Wiseau. But luckily, the review is still on Youtube. Oh man, if you can find this entire film somewhere, please post it here, you will not believe the level of suckage.


Link


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:20 pm 
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Anthony wrote:
The Room ... Oh man, if you can find this entire film somewhere, please post it here, you will not believe the level of suckage.


I'll see what I can do, Anthony. :D


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:39 am 
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Uwe Boll has made some of the worst films in movie history. There is no denying that fact. But over the last couple of years..I really believe Uwe Boll has turned a corner on making films. He has made way better quality movies recently...look at examples such as Rampage, Darfur...compared to the stuff he USE to put out like House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. So I believe that he has evolved over the decade to produce if not high quality at least "SOME" quality to his filmaking.
The problem is this guy loves making movies based on video games. Not even that popular video games, so what does he expect. People will continue to judge him as long as he keeps producing these pieces of crap.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:22 pm 
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Hey SVB is your avatar supposed to be from the movie Basket Case?


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:51 pm 
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Welcome back after a long departure to the lack-luster side of Hollywood. In this installment we delve into the early beginnings of 3D Theater in an attempt to get the American populous off of their collective couches and away from their TVs and back into the movie seats. What better way than through the new rage, Science Fiction and 3D Cinema? The man who set about this mission, Phil Tucker.

Phil who? Phil Tucker. Nope, not a household name, even Ed Wood at least was known. Our writer, Wyott Ordung, would go on to write "Target Earth" (1957) and "First Man Into Space" (1959). Our actors, well, not so household names either:

George Nader was a beefcake boy in the 50s until Universal killed his career and revealed him as a homosexual to protect Rock Hudson's reputation.

Claudia Barrett was not a new face either but would be pretty much consigned to the small screen until her retirement.

George Barrows our gorilla Ro-Man would be in and out of the Gorilla costume for the remainder of his career; some may remember him from Night Gallery's last episode "Hatred Unto Death."

Our music, however, is spine tingling original and was composed and conducted by none other than Elmer Bernstein. Yes, that Elmer Bernstein. Everybody's got to somewhere in Hollywood and this movie proves it. His next film, for those keeping score, was "Cat-Women from the Moon" (1954) Which can be located in the Public Domain Movie Madness. Find the related topic by Clicking Here

Our special effects - yeah, we'll call 'em special for various reasons - was created by Jack Rabin who had and would continue to go on to do countless other movies and admittedly, became a driving force for TV and B Movie effects. Rocketship X-M, The Man from Planet X, Unknown World, Flight to Mars, Invaders from Mars, Cat-Women of the Moon, The Beast of Hollow Mountain, The Black Sleep, Kronos, The Unknown Terror, The Giant Behemoth, The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock and The Atomic Submarine. Not too shabby for a guy who had this flick on his resume.

OK, so for a hour long movie, they seem to work an intermission into it. Possibly due to the glasses for the TRU-Stereo 3D or just to fill time in the theater. The story itself is child-like, without giving too much away, makes sense. The effects are lack luster, the acting straight out of a 1930's serial, butthe music does hold it together.

So without further ado, from 1953 and Phil Tucker, our Piece-O-Crap Theatre for the week: Robot Monster


~Piece-O-Crap Feature Presentation~


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:56 pm 
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Are these movies supposed to be just really bad or classic B movies in that "so bad they're good" way?


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:48 pm 
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Hard to answer definitively, Anthony. One man's crap is another man's gold. Take a chance and choose. ;)


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:33 am 
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Okay then, are they always old classic B movies or are recent ones okay to post too, like Chopping Mall or Sorority Babes at the Slimeball Bowlerama?


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:30 am 
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Well, the thread name is: ~Piece-O-Crap Theatre~ so ... if it fits into that criteria ;)


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 7:53 pm 
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So I can post those here then too? Or do I have to ask for them to be posted? I don't even know how to do that.

Oh yeah, there's also a website that used to run ads on this page called badmovies.org, it's worth checking out for more suggestions.


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:07 pm 
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Anthony wrote:
So I can post those here then too? Or do I have to ask for them to be posted? I don't even know how to do that.


Well, you know, the beauty of PtE is our ability to facilitate.

If you find a topic you feel passionate about, you can always join in or you can even start your own thread up and give it your own personal flair.
Everything here is done off of our BBCodes. If you visit YouTube, Hulu, Daily Motion, Archive, etc you can come up with a lot of Bottom Barrel favorites.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 6:51 pm 
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Tell you what, next time I watch a good one, I'll suggest you guys post it here.


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 11:30 am 
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deal


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:24 am 
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What about Troll 2?!?!? This movie was so painfully bad, there wasn't even a single troll in the damn film? This piece of garbage (crap) is so bad, sitting through it even a single time is an incredible waste of time. Watching grass grow or paint dry is time better well spent.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:03 pm 
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NYR94 wrote:
What about Troll 2?!?!? This movie was so painfully bad, there wasn't even a single troll in the damn film? This piece of garbage (crap) is so bad, sitting through it even a single time is an incredible waste of time. Watching grass grow or paint dry is time better well spent.


Well you can spend next weekend watching paint dry and on your sinking houseboat surrounded by sharks while Im comfortably enjoying Troll 2 in HD. No trolls in the movie but a shite ton of goblins.
This brings me to my next point. Like NYR94 really decided to watch this because of the title? I smell BULL :D Can I imagine this man upset by the fact he sat through the whole film and realized it has no trolls in it. I cannot. :evil:


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:30 am 
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StillValleyBard wrote:
NYR94 wrote:
What about Troll 2?!?!? This movie was so painfully bad, there wasn't even a single troll in the damn film? This piece of garbage (crap) is so bad, sitting through it even a single time is an incredible waste of time. Watching grass grow or paint dry is time better well spent.


Well you can spend next weekend watching paint dry and on your sinking houseboat surrounded by sharks while Im comfortably enjoying Troll 2 in HD. No trolls in the movie but a shite ton of goblins.
This brings me to my next point. Like NYR94 really decided to watch this because of the title? I smell BULL :D Can I imagine this man upset by the fact he sat through the whole film and realized it has no trolls in it. I cannot. :evil:



True story...


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