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 Post subject: Childhood Toys From Hell
Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:44 pm 
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Greetings All,

I was talking with some friends and family at a party the other night and we got on the topic of toys. Primarily, the toys from our childhood and what they are offering now. In another thread, post8113.html#8113, TOL toys were mentioned. This brought back the conversation on all the really F'd up stuff we had as kids that were supposed to be safe or fun. Since our age range on this board spans a few decades, I thought it would be fun to see what each of us remember as a particularly "BAD" toy. I'm not talking fake toys, but stuff that was actually on the market for sale to children &/or family fun.

Doctor Dreadful Freaky Food Lab

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Some of the older crowd may not remember this stuff. This damn thing is still on the market, now owned by Funrise, and it took toy of the year in 2005. They make it with Jello now it looks like, but I don't really know for sure. What brings this one to mind was my nephew decided to join in the topic. He brought this toy up as being stupid. My sister and I remember it differently. For those who don't know, this was a little lab project that made you mix the components and stir them yourself. Hey, cool concept for a kid right ... wrong This stuff was nasty instant pudding, pixie sticks, and chemical hell. My nephew was like a junkie to this damn crap. Nuclear Freeze, Nuclear Blob, and Nuclear something else. Whenever my sister would take him anywhere it was , Doctor Dreeeeaaadfullll! Doctor Dreeeeaaadfullll! from the back seat. And that stuff was like $5 for a 3 pack box. And as soon as she'd get him home, man he was making his batches as fast as he could manage. My sister had 3 or 4 different packages of this stuff in the house and he got investigative and found the stash. He mixed then all up and consumed them gleefully. Until later on when he kept pooping and throwing up. After that, he hated it and wouldn't have anything to do with it.

Happy Posting & Have Fun,

Phineas J. Whoopee


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Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:07 am 
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Wham-O Water Wiggle


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Sure - this looked like fun. A sprinkler on the end of a garden hose that danced around getting you wet. What a perfect toy to go along with the Slip & Slide - right? Hell No! There was nothing fun about a sprinkler hurdling about at 50 mph and slapping you, let me tell ya. This damn thing would slap you hard enough to raise welts and if it wrapped around your arm or leg - you were f@%ked. This thing would keep constricting and the damn happy smiling sprinkler head would smack the living shite outta ya. Yeah - this was fun - NOT! Now, this damn thing was pulled off the market in 1978 when it strangled a kid to death. Yep, it wrapped around his throat and strangled him - smiling happily the whole damn time. When they re-released it in the 80's - see above commercial - the 7 foot long cheap plastic hose was replaced with a more rigid plastic and the aluminum spray jet was replaced with a plastic one. It didn't help. Damn thing still hit just as hard. BAD TOY - BAD!!!!!!


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Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:38 pm 
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Wham O Water Wiggle?! :?

Think I'll buy me Ex-Wife one of those! :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:57 am 
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I remember several things from my childhood that eventually got banned. (or simply just yanked from production)

But here is something I just stumbled across on the web...............


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This is a child's toy depicting..............(yep, you guessed it) the 9-11 attacks.
Supposedly there were about 14,000 of these being shipped out to grocery stores, and they were promptly recalled.
I don't quite know if this was just outright stupidity, or bad judgement. But either way I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
How in the Hell that ever made it to production I will never know.

This might be the worst/saddest toy I have ever seen.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:30 am 
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TZ DZ Fan wrote:
I remember several things from my childhood that eventually got banned. (or simply just yanked from production)

But here is something I just stumbled across on the web...............


Image



This is a child's toy depicting..............(yep, you guessed it) the 9-11 attacks.
Supposedly there were about 14,000 of these being shipped out to grocery stores, and they were promptly recalled.
I don't quite know if this was just outright stupidity, or bad judgement. But either way I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
How in the Hell that ever made it to production I will never know.

This might be the worst/saddest toy I have ever seen.


TZ DZ Fan


I bet those toys still sell like wild fire in the middle east.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:51 pm 
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Geez, that's almost as bad as that Titanic kids ride I heard about.

Let's see I remember some bubble blowing toy that looked like gum and you blowed the bubbles through a plastic pipe. A lot of kids probably tried to eat it. Lawn darts, click clacks, they don't let kids have fun anymore, the risk of minor injury was part of the fun.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 7:52 am 
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The Hindenburg Simulator was an idea that started off bad and just got progressively worse...


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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:56 am 
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Ladies & Gentle Wizards, from those creative geniuses at Mattel, I give you the Nimbus 2000. An actual replica of the Harry Potter Model recommended for children between 8 to 12 years of age. How can your child play an accurate game of Quidditch without this advanced model. It comes complete* with both swooshing and whooping sound effects to make your child's experience more real and thrilling. Added bonus feature is the flight simulating "VIBRATOR" action to replicate the feel of real flight. Image how happy your 8 to 12 year old will be when he or she straddles this broomstick and enjoys the thrilling vibration of flight.

* (3) AAA Batteries not included.


Happy Posting & Good Vibrations,

Phineas J. Whoopee


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Unread postPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:21 pm 
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OK, now who remembers these things...............


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Banned in most places now.



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Unread postPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:20 pm 
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I LIKED the Water Wiggle. He was scary, but in an enjoyable way.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:05 pm 
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I got one of these when I was 13 after moving to the great Rural state of Mississippi. Used it for hunting.

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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:40 pm 
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I heard Water Wiggle actually killed a child by strangulation, which may be why it was withdrawn. Then again, could be internet rumor. As far the the 9/11 toy, it was a slap in the face to America manufactured by our enemies. Lead in kid's jewelry is still a problem, most coming from China, and sold in America to this day.

Given that, I decry the ban on the old model kits like Aurora's Guillotine back in the day. I enjoyed making mine--while The Addams Family played on in the background.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:58 pm 
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Lawn Darts!

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Unread postPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 6:31 pm 
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I find that photo totally lacking humor and offensive.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 6:15 pm 
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Unread postPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 11:09 pm 
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Wasn't there an SNL sketch where Dan Ackroyd played the owner of a toy company and had all these dangerous toys he was being interviewed about, like Bag O Glass?


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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:32 pm 
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I remember my sister had this:

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Shes still alive, thankfully lol.

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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:58 pm 
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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:14 pm 
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awwww

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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:39 pm 
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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:49 pm 
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Unread postPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:10 am 
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Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:07 pm 
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Anthony wrote:
Wasn't there an SNL sketch where Dan Ackroyd played the owner of a toy company and had all these dangerous toys he was being interviewed about, like Bag O Glass?



Yes - Irwin Mainway of Mainway Inc.


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Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:16 pm 
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Unread postPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:17 pm 
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DrMoreau wrote:
Anthony wrote:
Wasn't there an SNL sketch where Dan Ackroyd played the owner of a toy company and had all these dangerous toys he was being interviewed about, like Bag O Glass?



Yes - Irwin Mainway of Mainway Inc.



Is that still on the NBC site? Link isn't working here anymore.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:59 pm 
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Bag O' Glass was my favorite.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:43 am 
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One time Johnny Carson's Art Fern character did something similar, except that instead of everyday items being turned into dangerous toys, they were just turned into pointless ones, and he tried to personalize them with cute names. One was a weatherman's pointer called "Dickie the Stick," and one was a mailing tube called "Murray the Mailer."


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